Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
