Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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