is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I love you. Go after that dick
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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