dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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