the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
