i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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