it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
