So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
