Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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