She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Jerry, you need to find god
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
