this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
