How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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