I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
