"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
