the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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