but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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