sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
