at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
