Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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