his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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