Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
