Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize