I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
