Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
