Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
