she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
we're so committed to being not committed
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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