I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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