Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
