I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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