those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
