so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
