whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
