Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
