I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
