just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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