i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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