If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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