dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
