Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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