areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
