i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize