Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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