I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize