Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
