Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
