we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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