You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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