ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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