i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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