if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
