dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize