I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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