The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
