my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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