That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
