I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
