Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
